So, here is the thing. I have been experiencing a somewhat hard time adapting to the life here in the US and also being married is not easy. It’s fun with the right person, but not easy.
These past 2 years I have been doing a lot of introspection and a lot of questioning. I am still figuring out a lot of things, and there is a shit load of stuff I still have no clue. Maybe I will never have it?
One thing I actually unveiled during this time is that I am actually a very nurturing person. Believe it or not I like to take care of living beings, especially when they are cute and fuzzy like cats or pretty and green (most of them) like plants. Also, I have noticed that these two living beings? things? creatures? have taught me more than I actually realized until recently. You see, those two categories are great masters when it comes to life in general.
1. You cannot control everything
I am a control freak (This is where you guys act surprised). I like to manage situations and life in the way that is the least risky or at least in a way I can anticipate possible outcomes. I prefer when things look a certain way and when I have what I want when I want it.
Well, I already knew the theory of “you cannot control everything”, but seeing it live is different. We had another cat for like a year, she was the most precious cat ever, Minerva, but she was very skittish and very scared of everything and everyone. With a lot of effort, Dave managed to get her trust and she seemed happy around him most of the time (and sometimes me). Queue to Moctezuma, our first cat, and he hates her. The minute Moctezuma got close to her, she growled and triggered Mocte into attacking her. This happened every time they were together in the same room.
I miss you, Minerva
We tried everything. I confess I also prayed a little. Nothing worked. We couldn’t control the way these guys interacted, they are who they are and they didn’t like each other. Because Mocte had been with us longer, and because he needs special care, we decided to find Minerva another home where she is an only cat and she looks happier than she ever was with us. It is sad, but life happens and you cannot control two asshole cats who hate each other. You cannot control the rate at which your plant grows. So be patient, do what you need to do, but in the end, let us embrace that we cannot control 100% of what happens in our lives.
Working on this as we speak. I’ll keep trying. Ugh!
2. Caring is important. But also, don’t care too much because it hurts.
Here is the thing I have learned being plant parent to around 32 plants: You do need to worry and care for your plants, water them, make sure they have the right amount of light, move them from time to time, but there is such a thing as caring too much. It is very easy to overwater a plant, or expose her to too much light, plants will die if they have too much of anything. They will also die if they have too little of any of their essentials. Such as life, it is about balance.
3. Life finds a way and sometimes that way is not perfect and not what you expected so deal with it. It is still nice, though
When I recently moved to Austin, there was a neighbor who wanted to get rid of her FiddleLeafFigTree because she didn’t have anywhere to place it and the cats and etc. I took him from her. I was after one and they are expensive, but it was in no good condition. Most of the leaves were burnt or yellowish, but it was still alive.
For months I tried and I only got small imperfect growth. It wasn’t until this spring when I started to see more new leaves growing better and stronger, but some of them were still not “instagram worthy”, and you know what? It’s fine. It is super pretty and exciting to see a new leaf growing and see it take its very particular shape. My tree (Jacinto) is not picture perfect at all but he is mine and I love him and I actually enjoy to see him grow.
4. You must be willing to let it gooooo.
Ferns hate me. They die on me no matter what I do. The same with orchids. I love both those plants but they don’t seem to like me and I have embraced that and I am not going to force them into liking me. Just like I couldn’t force Minerva to like me or Moctezuma.
It happens I guess, that sometimes we want this or that too much and we force it, or worse, force ourselves into things that are not for us and will end up frustrating us. I don’t mean this in a cosmic/magic kind of way, I mean it in the realistic sense like: I have no talent for painting, so I really shouldn’t try to make a career out of that. Even if I wanted to and tried really hard.
5. Be ready and open when the next thing comes.
I have been trying for so long to get a new kitten, I had my heart set on a long-haired orange tabby. I haven’t found one that is compatible with Mocte (most are FELV+). What I did find is a desperate neighbor trying to rehome Luke, his 2-year old cat because he cannot give him the attention he needs. I immediately thought of Minerva and how I was so sad and desperate to find her a home, but also so grateful when I found a great family for her.
Yesterday we met Luke, he is no long-haired orange tabby kitten, but he is super sweet and friendly. He and Mocte had a date and Mocte was not that happy, but he was ok and tolerating Luke. We have high hopes that with more dates they’ll grow on each other. I found that sometimes it’s ok to not getting what you want. It’s hard, but such is life.
Update: We also tried Milo (first photo), and he was the best cat but was very territorial and he didn't like Mocte. Although Mocte seemed fine. Luke is no more as he liked Mocte, too much probably. He was horny and tried to get on top of Mocte. I am trying to get a younger cat from Monterrey and see where that goes.
Do you guys like plants? Cats? Any lessons I should know about?